batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
