from now on my penis is your penis
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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