you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
