So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Terrible idea I love it
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
