Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I wear drunk well.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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