Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
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