That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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