Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
