she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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