I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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