i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
