and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
