Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
