I want to stick my p in your. b.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
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