in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
