it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
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