you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
