its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
