now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
