No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
