she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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