apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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