she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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