so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
