do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
