First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
