So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
The struggles of a small town man whore
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Randomize
