The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
