I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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