I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
