Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
