Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
