Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
