I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
