I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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