But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
