Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
