people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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