I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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