I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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