Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Life is so much better after having sex.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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