Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
