i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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