did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
