hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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