I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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