we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
