I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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