i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
