Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
