You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
It's shark week go big or go home
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
