guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Randomize
